We've got our Hokey Pokies Hall Of Fame right here.

Our Hokey Pokies:
Doggie Reel Bingo
You lucky Barstard

So what makes a pokie extraordinarily hokey? It takes quite a few special characteristics:

TERRIBLE GRAPHICS: this one usually gets us the most submissions. Of course, there's nothing quite like getting down with the idea, theme or payouts of a game only to realise that the damn thing has graphics that would make the original programmers of Mario cringe.

RUBBISH PAYOUTS: The whole point of playing pokies online is that it gives you the chance to have fun AND get a decent payout. But when a pokies' payout report means that it's only giving you back a fraction of what you've played? Well, that's just hokey.

HORRIFIC SOUND EFFECTS AND MUSIC: It's one thing when a creepy-themed slot gives you the chills with its soundtrack, quite another when you're absolutely horrified at the cheesy saxophone music on a romance-themed slot and have to throw your headphones across the room.

CRUDDY GAMEPLAY: Even if you haven't got the latest Mac, you should be able to play pokies in peace without freezing, dropped connections and other gameplay drama that you just don't need. There are plenty of good online casinos out there that you don't have to waste time one lame ones. Speaking of which...

LAME THEMES: Sure, the Magical Fairy Bunny-Land Slot isn't my cup of tea, but it makes a certain demographic happy. These slots are only hokey if the idea is so half-baked it just doesn't appeal to anyone.

Have you come across a truly hokey pokie that's not on our list? Submit your story!